Awhile back, I read a thing that said, “If you’re feeling lonely, turn off all the lights and watch a scary movie. After a while, you won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.”

It’s funny because it’s true.

This is the time of year when all the scary movies show up on TV. I like a good thriller and enjoy feeling scared while I am perfectly safe, but I don’t like slasher movies or anything that depicts cruelty of any kind.

I watch “Svengoolie” on Saturday nights, the kind of show that used to be called “creature features.” The host spotlights a different movie each week, ranging from “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken” (my favorite!) to the original “Frankenstein” and “Dracula” classics.

When the grandkids are spending the night, I will invite them to watch with me, but with mixed results.

Brody’s reaction to “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” was to exclaim, “This is freakin’ me out, Gwanma!”

Zeke still talks — with a shudder — about the giant ants that ravaged the countryside in “Them!” — but he joins me in mocking the laughable special effects of “The Giant Claw,” easily the most ridiculous movie monster of all time. Seriously, look this one up. According to Wikipedia, the actor who portrayed the hero watched the film for the first time at a theatre in his hometown. Until then, he didn’t know what the monster was going to look like, as its scenes had been added in the editing room. When “The Giant Claw” finally appeared on screen, the audience burst into laughter. Embarrassed, he snuck out of the theatre, went home and began drinking.

I still remember the time — more than 30 years ago — when a series of classic horror movies were shown on television, every night for about a week. I stayed up late to watch “King Kong.” My youngest son, then only about 4 years old, crept upstairs from his bedroom and snuggled next to me on the couch to watch.

All was well until the ending, when Kong was toppled from his perch atop the Empire State Building and went crashing to his death on the street below.

Timmy turned to me, wide eyes filled with tears, and cried, “You didn’t tell me he was going to DIE!”

It was a long time before he could be consoled.

In fact, I’m not sure he ever got over it.

Maybe I should have remembered that before I introduced Brody and Zeke to the Creature and the giant ants.

My friend Jim occasionally recommends movies to me, knowing I prefer things like “The Others” and “The Sixth Sense” over anything Freddy, Jason or Michael Myers might have to offer. Most of his suggestions are on streaming services or channels I don’t get, but every once in a while he loans me a DVD. So far, so good, but it’s fair to say his tolerance level for gore is a lot higher than mine.

During the month of October, a lot of scary movies show up on television. Sometimes I flip through the channel guide to see if there is anything that looks interesting, but to be honest, there just isn’t much that appeals to me. I have no interest or desire to see anyone being hacked to pieces with a chainsaw, axe or any other sharp instruments. I absolutely do not want to watch anyone suffer emotional or mental anguish. All I want — is it too much to ask? — is a ghostly presence, a weird atmosphere, a sense of foreboding … and a happy ending.

Oh well.

There’s always “Scooby-Doo.”

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