It’s Wednesday morning and I’m well aware that another column has to be written and delivered by this evening.
But there’s only one thing wrong. I’m out of words, ideas, thoughts and journalistic sanity.
And it’s times like this that my mind goes back some 64 years to the day Ben Haden, publisher of the Kingsport, Tennessee Times-News hired me off the street to be his new reporter.
I was lost then and I’m seemingly lost now.
Sometimes I wish I had not earlier declared politics off-limits in this column. With some of the stuff transpiring in our nation’s capital I could run my old laptop out of electronic ink.
It seems we have an incumbent president not willing to step partly aside. And we have an incoming president having a little difficulty getting started.
But the verbal brakes have been applied and I’m moving on to something that won’t get me burned at the political stake.
So here I sit with my two typing fingers eager for a little exercise. Believe it or not, I made a passing grade in typing in college but it was only because I sat in the back of the classroom where the instructor couldn’t see my hands.
Hands didn’t play a role in business law classes and it wouldn’t have made any difference if had been sitting in China.
Besides, I wasn’t cut out to be an attorney. And sometimes — like right now — I seriously doubt if I was cut out to be a column writer. I do know for sure that mental numbness is not a prerequisite.
But I’m going to get through this Wednesday morning and there will be a column in my editor’s email come Thursday. He might wonder if my age finally has finally rendered the rest of — well, whatever he might wonder.
I was an editor at one time but it was a weekly newspaper with a limited staff and I was the only one that worked for me. Unkind thoughts are less invasive that way.
I’m going to make every effort to see that something like this doesn’t happen again. I recently saw on television that there’s now a drug available that tends to stimulate the brain. I hope there is a lot of it available.
I also hope it works better than Carter’s Little Liver Pills that we, back in the day, used to take for everything from athlete’s foot to childbirth.
And while I’m at it, there was also castor oil that kept our toilet plumbing working at peak performance.
Bye now. And it’s OK if you remember that something in a column is not necessarily better than nothing.